a mama's present needs..

I need 5 minutes:  I need to stretch, I need to write, I need to share, I need to plan, organize.

But my little teacher shows me that I need to simply sit here and hold her. She smiles with joy during each tender embrace.

I need a month: I need to process, I need to caress and be caressed, I need to unwind, I need to unburden, I need solitude for my heart.

But she reminds me that her basic needs and her sweet smile trump any other task on my mind. I sing to her and sing with her.

I need a year: I need to be better, I need to stand out from the crowd, I need to delve into decades of wounds again, I need to confront all the mirrors and projections, I need to cry and release in despair.

But her perfect face, soulful eyes, decadent lashes keep me captivated in their naivety. I cannot look away and get lost in her light.

I need a lifetime: I need to heal, I need to forgive, I need to accept this path propelling me along, I need to trust the direction I’m headed with whomever joins along. And breathe in every refreshing deep breath with her.

(I realize that these last few especially are my non-negotiables. Much else of what I need can easily wait, it will unravel in its own time for me again.)

This time is for acquainting myself with the little teacher growing from the root of my very being.  I see and know that she blossoms out of my foundation that is healing, ripe with forgiveness and flowing with trust.  

So I vow to forge ahead with my most important needs: to heal, to forgive, to trust so that one day I can show her that my path towards balance and inner peace has helped stopped time for us. My work has been all for her: to find simple presence with her in this rapidly passing liftetime.

Posted on September 14, 2016 .